GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE..........

If finally happened. It took a while, but the inevitable has happened. I finally met the Texas couple that I expected to meet while working in this state. I must start by saying I have been pleasantly surprised by the state of Texas. The people here are extremely nice, welcoming and kind. They have offered me water or sweet tea at every house and have been more than willing to help me out when I mention that I am far away from home. But, I was waiting for the stereotypical Texas couple and I found them.

As soon it happened, I was enjoying a drink and meal at Buffalo Wild Wings in the small town of Lubbock, Texas. Home of the Texas Tech Red Raiders. A school that is well known for their southern tradition and football team. (I guess that could be said for any school in rural Texas) But, as I was sitting there enjoying the Braves beat up on the Mets, the ESPY awards came on the large projection screen. A couple had sat next to me and the woman had a tough time remembering the name of the awards show and the host. Being the nice person I am, I explained that it was the ESPY award and Samuel L. Jackson was the host. She thanked me and after a few quiet moments she started a conversation with me. This is no big deal in Texas. People here would strike up a conversation with devil if he sat down next to them just to prove their southern hospitality. So, I politely indulged her and her husband and began small talk. I was then asked if I was from Lubbock which, to be honest, was a rhetorical question because everyone knows everybody here so I might as well have had the word "Tourist" written in huge letters across my forehead. In the next few sentences it was discovered that I was in town for business and the woman sitting next to me worked at the same company in which I worked.

Usually, in this same situation in the DC area, that would end the conversation as people in that area don't have time to talk. But, in the south, where I was born and raised, this adds about 3 hours, 15 emails, a facebook request and a wedding invitation to the conversation. The conversation stayed pretty vanilla for a while until the subject of "church camp" came up. Now the statement I said was a simple and obvious one, but, as it always goes, the smallest things often lead to the biggest things. I simply said that there are a lot of "church camps" in Texas. From there, the husband, who I will call Bill, said, "Yeah, you've noticed the christian, conservative ways in Texas."

At this point, I was praying(yes PRAYING. I am in Texas. When in Rome......) well I was praying that when he used the word conservative, he was not about to start a political conversation with me..........

.....COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN.......

Well, apparently God has a dry sense of humor as the next few minutes were polluted with political conversation. I must stress the fact that I did not say anything political. I stay the hell out of political conversations with people that I just met in a town were I am a TRUE minority. There are 1.6 trillion other things to talk about and I know because I have counted. But, for the next 10 minutes, Bill had the podium, microphone, soapbox and pedestal. It was explained to me that he can't wait until 2010 when the largest stimulus package in American history would passed and apparently democrats will turn into gremlins and the republicans will apparently find the Holy Grail and put Indiana Jones to shame. (I may have added some of my own details to that sentence, but you get the point) Also, it was explained to me that the California's current budget crisis is directly related to it's evil liberal agenda and that the recession only affects liberal states and has not affected Texas, let alone Lubbock. Apparently Bill and his wife are doing wonderfully.

At that point, I was thinking of all the customers I had helped in the area that had become very candid with me and explained that because of the current economic climate, they couldn't afford to repair their vehicles or even their $500 deductibles. Or, all the abandoned buildings that were forced out of business due to the increase in overhead costs. But, I must say that I was okay with what he had said so far. Apparently, people drink the kool-aid in many parts of this country and I was allowing him to spread his propaganda as I am not one to judge and people are entitled to their opinions, even if it was never asked for. But, I had to change the conversation when he started to quote Fox News. I mean, if you want to make a point, just make it, do immediately go to your Fox News talking points. I wasn't even disagreeing with Bill and he immediately went to Fox News. So I conveniently changed the conversation back to work. That was short lived.


.......AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Now, whenever someone prefaces their statement with the saying, "Now don't take this the wrong way," it is fair to assume that the next thing coming out of this person's mouth will be some damn offensive stuff. Well, Bill's wife, who works at the same company I do, explains the reason why she knew I was not from Lubbock. Like any curious individual, I asked why. She stated, verbatim, "Because all the black people in Lubbock talk in Ebonics." She then backtracked and stated that only most of the black people in Lubbock speak in Ebonics. Then her husband stepped in and stated that I speak properly.

------Now I must cut in here and mention the fact the before the second part of this conversation, Bill had mention the fact that he thought Michael Jackson was a pedophile. For those who know me, I don't have to say anything else. For those who don't, this statement really didn't sit well with me. Back to the story.

I have met many people in Lubbock, not many blacks, but a few. ALL OF THEM. Let me repeat, ALL OF THEM, spoke proper English. But, as the patient and non-confrontational person I am, I bit my tongue and continued to listen.

The next part of the conversation really rubbed me the wrong way. We got on the subject of my girlfriend, Nada. We covered many topics and by this point, Bill had walked away to speak with other people and his wife and I talked about marriage. The obvious question was asked: When are you gonna marry her? But for some reason she asked what Nada's last name was. I said Abdelaal. Then the other obvious question: is she Muslim? I answered yes. Then she said the most ignorant thing of the night. She told me, again verbatim, "She probably wants to take your last name." She explained to me that she probably gets a lot of slack for her last name and she probably wants to change it.

There are so many ways I could go at this. The first and only thing I explained to her was that people in the big, bad, liberal world of Washington, DC are accepting and it is a melting pot of cultures.

Next we talked about children and Bill came back to the table and explained the differences between raising girls and boys. Apparently, to him, it is easier to raise a boy because the only thing you have to protect him from is being gay.

Shortly thereafter, I excused myself politely because I had to work in the morning, drove to my hotel and wrote this.

In no way do I feel that this couple is a true reflection of Texas, but I do think it is sad that people still think this way in America.


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.


Somethings I cannot change. OBVIOUSLY.

What I have learned from my first 30 years.......

That is a wonderful question to ask yourself every birthday. To put an answer like this in words is kinda difficult. I have learned that loved ones and enemies can switch places at a moment's notice and the line between them can be thin and blurry. I have learned that the things that you value the most when you were younger can turn out to be the most irrelevant things once you get older. I have learned that friends that will still be your friend once you have wronged them have a place ready for them in heaven. I have learned that sometimes my humor can be hilarious to some and annoying as hell to others. I have learned that money does not buy happiness. Or maybe I have never been good with money until this year so maybe I should head to Walmart and look if they have slashed their prices on happiness. What aisle would that be in? I have learned that mothers always have your best intention in mind however cannot always understand that mistakes have to be made before positive progress. I have learned that family should always come first even when every instinct in your body tells you otherwise. I have learned the saying, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be," is the stupidest saying ever spoken. I have learned that I am better off than most but that should never keep me from trying to do better. I have learned that the best conversations usually happen at 3 in the morning with a few coronas and a half empty bottle of Captain. I have learned that Clemson, SC may be the most beautiful place on Earth. I have learned that I have never slept as well as I did in the room I was raised in on High Meadow Dr. in Norcross, GA. I have learned that racism still exists today and may never be eradicated. I have learned that glass ceilings exists I have seen many friends hit their heads on them. I have learned that "me-time" is precious and should be taken daily. I have learned that to much time is spent on the negative and more needs to be spent on the beauty in the world. I have learned that Atlanta has put out some really good music. I have learned that Atlanta has put out some really bad dances. I have learned that my parents are really cool people and deserve the best. I have learned that my sister is a really great person and will continue to reap the rewards of her success. I have learned that my brother is wonderful person and has 2 beautiful little girls who will grow up to raise as much hell as we did but it will be well worth it. I have learned that no matter how many years you spend in school, the only thing people remember is if you graduated. (Lawton). I have learned that people from Texas are crazy and love their state more than the country it's located in. (Andy). I have learned that it will always be BATs 4 Life! I have learned that my girlfriend does love me even though she is asleep and my 30th birthday is in 25 minutes.

Finally I have learned to never take myself too seriously. Really, I am not that important.

IS THIS WHAT AMERICA HAS BECOME?

As I was driving in Oakton, VA, which is part of Fairfax, VA - one of the wealthiest counties in the US, I was happy to see numerous Obama signs. Then I saw this sign. I almost ran off the road. I immediately pulled over and went to the house where the sign was stationed. The owner, Greg, told me that he had already called the police and they were on their way as this had just happened last night. His face showed his frustration and his words filled with disappointment. His wife, who I also met, stated that she had just got the sign and was infuriated that this had happened. I am still trying to decide which emotions I am going through right now, but I had to quickly share this with all my readers and pose the question: Is this a reflection of America in 2008?

I know that it is naive to think that there is no more racism in America - that is obvious. But, what will it take to end racism in America. And to pose another question, what will it take to end all discrimination in America because we seem to move from discrimination of Blacks to Latino's to Women to Homosexuals to Jews and back again.

THIS HAS TO STOP!

I must preface this post by explaining some advice that I received recently from a dear friend. That really doesn't explained my true friendship to this person. He is an actual person that I would take an actual bullet for. Not in the arm or the leg, but a fatal shot that would save his life and take mine. I have to say, friends like that are hard to find and harder to keep. But I digress.......my buddy explained to me that he has enjoyed all my blog posts and is always awaiting a new post. He explained that he wished he had the voice of reason to post blogs because if he were to post a blog, he would get so mad that he may hear some knocks at his door from the FBI. I explained to him my protocol for writing a post. I explained that I get an idea in my head but I do not write it then, I let the thought simmer for a few days so I can keep emotion out of the blog and possible find an plausible opposition to my view. This method, in his mind, for lack of a better word, was unacceptable. He wanted me to include all the emotion that he knew was in me and have my words explode off the page. To please him, I planned on writing a post that same day; however, that was yesterday, and I decided to use the same protocol I had been using for a while.

I have to give some background on this friend of mine. He is a middle class, single dad, raising a nine year old in a working class neighborhood. I used to work with him at a company that will not be named(it does not deserve the free advertisement), and I was actually his manager. I would never introduce myself as his manager but he would often introduce me that way. He had no gripe that I was younger than him, he always treated me with respect and to this day, he defends my name at the company that I was fired from wrongfully.

When we talked on the phone, with the climate of America, the obvious subject was William Ayers. Just kidding, we are both democrats, so we spoke about the issues. In my opinion, it seems like a lot of republican pundits and political leaders were getting all of their talking points from the same source. I don't know the exact source, whether it be Sean Hannity or Dick Morris, but they were all saying the same thing. "Obama is a shady character with a shady background." My main issue was not what they were talking about, but how they all were saying the same thing. You would think one person, either Newt Gingrich or Rush Limbaugh, would say that this needed to stop and someone needed to voice another conservative opinion, but no one did. My pleading case to my friend was that I hoped he was teaching his son to think for himself. I hoped he was teaching his son to get his own information and question those in power and not be a parrallel voice. He instructed me that this was already in the works.

In all fairness, I know my friend so well, that I knew he was already doing this, but I guess I was acting like a manager again and asking a question that did not really need to be asked but had to be asked. Also, a point was brought up about defending your ticket by referring to the other. I absolutley hate this. Here is an example. On one of the many online social networks, I got into a friendly debate with soemone in regard to Sarah Palin being unable to list Supreme Court cases that she disagreed with. There also was a picture of Joe Biden on the screen. Instead of this person just defending Palin, he said, and I quote,

"Joe, could you tell me which article of the Constitution declares that an American has a right to kill a baby? I didn't think so..."

He was basically talking to Joe Biden about his stance on Roe v. Wade. So, in defense of Palin being a moron, he brought up Roe v. Wade. This reminds me of when we were kids and one kid would say to another, "You are so stupid," and the other kid would reply, "well, at least I have nice shoes!" You are basically conceeding the fact that you're are stupid, but are justifying it because you have nice shoes. This really irritates me. If you want to defend your candidate, defend them directly, do not concede the point and take a swipe at the other ticket. That is cowardly.

Again, I hope everyone does the most American thing that they can on Novermber 4th, get to the polls and vote!

The election is quickly approaching and it has been labeled, with good reason, the most important election of our time. It seems to me(call me crazy) that every election should be treated as the most important election of our time. Too be completely and brutally honest, this election scares me. First, and foremost, I believe many people, mostly minorities, will again choose not to exercise their right to vote. Let me stress that choosing not to vote is not a bad thing in itself. We, as citizens of America, have the right to vote, but we also have the right not to vote. This is a liberty that we have. With that being said, I believe that anyone choosing not to exercise their right to vote automatically loses their right to complain. Simple as that. If you do not take the 3 minutes it takes to register online and the 1o minutes it takes to vote on election day, I do not want to hear one word come out of your mouth about the state of the economy, the nation debt, foreign relations, or anything else that pertains to your right to vote.

Secondly, and this might piss a lot of women off, I believe that many female voters are endorsing or supporting Palin just because she is a woman. There. I said it. Hate me if you want, but that is my opinion. I cannot blame McCain for picking a "nobody" from Alaska. It may turn out to be the best decision he made since he chose the Depends over the generic-CVS brand adult absorbent underwear. McCain is not a stupid person. He knows that there is an enormous population in the undecided female vote, and he played his hand. However, just like a woman who wants a wedding and not a marriage, I feel the McCain camp is looking to win the election and not thinking about the next 4 years. Women are making huge strides in the political world. Women have many women to support and look up to including Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi. Women do not need a female figure thrown into the mix just to steal their vote. I know the women of America are smarter than that.

Now, I know what a lot of you are thinking: How can you say women are supporting Palin because of gender? Black people are supporting Obama because of race! Checkmate, Mr. Paisant. Hold on just a second. It is a historical truth that the majority of minorities in this country are democrats(and I will explain my gripe with that label later) because historically the Democratic Party has held the interests and feelings of minorities at a higher level than the Republican Party. It can be stated to a certainty that a huge majority of minority voters will vote democratic in any election for numerous reasons, but the simplest is this: the percentage of minorities in this country as a whole in relation to the percentage of minorities living in poverty is incredibly unbalanced. The Democratic Party is the party of helping the underprivileged get back on their feet. The Republican Party is more of a party for the well-off. Don't get mad at that statement - get used to it. It is the truth.

Now, to my third and final fear - why does everyone have to be a "Liberal, tree-hugging, change all the time Democrat" or a "Conservative, right-winged, 7 house owning Republican?" Why do I have to be labeled one way or the other. It's like people have a hard time being an independent voter. Notice what I wrote, "Independent Voter" not an "Independent." An independent is just another label that citizens are stuck in. I am talking about being a truly independent voter - voting for the person you believe is best to lead our country and not the person who is the nominee of your political party. Why can't I believe that abortion is wrong, but also believe that it is the decision of the woman. Why can't I be a wealthy businessman but still want to fund projects to help the less fortunate. It is time for Americans to start thinking for themselves and stop the "mob-mentality" that comes with political parties.

As most of you know, I am a 29 year old African-American male. I hate politics. I absolutely despise the bickering and slandering that goes on in the political world. But, I am also an independent thinker. I know most people will not disclose their voting plans, but I will say that I voted in the democratic primaries this year in Virginia and I did not vote for Barack Obama. At that time, I did not think he was the best candidate for the job. Now, I am happy that he did win the nomination because I feel he and Senator Biden are the best ticket to run the country. I think we can all agree (or most of us) that George W. Bush has taken a lot of the wind out of the country's sail. We are not sinking, but are damn close to it. The reason I say I am an independent voter is because I want a candidate that best represents me. I feel McCain and his followers are in the financially elite in this country and do not have a grip on what my issues are. I think Palin is a little too much bark and not enough bite. I do believe that Obama could use some more experience, but they said the same thing about Bill Clinton, and he did a great job as President. I believe that Joe Biden brings wonderful support and experience to the ticket and will be a better number 2 than Palin.

The best thing about this country is our right to be independent. I have a right to flip-flop all I want and not have to answer to anyone because of it. I would be scared of a candidate that did not change his or her mind on the campaign trail. I have a hard enough time choosing from the Dollar-menu at McDonald's that I think someone in the most demanding job interview of their life should be allowed the courtesy of changing their mind at least once. May God Bless America and I hope you all exercise your right to vote!

Be Happy. My advice to everyone: Be Happy! Be happy in the morning when you wake up, be happy when you get to work, be happy when you leave work, be happy on Mondays and on Fridays. Be happy. Most of us have the ability to be happy but don't use the correct outlook to achieve this. We have to remember that happiness is not the amount of money in our wallets. Happiness is not how expensive or fast our car is. Happiness does not correlate in any way to our sexual prowess. Happiness is our ability to have internally produced positive feelings and project them externally.

Yes, I understand that this is easier said that done, but it is worth it. Coming from a person that has been on both ends of the emotional spectrum, I can definitely confirm that happy is a lot better than sad. Let's think about this for a second. Are you upset that you don't have a better job? Well, first off, be happy that you have a job in this economy and positively look for another one that you really want. If you don't find it, guess what? You still have a job. Are you upset because you have money issues? Well, first try to be happy about the things you do have: a roof over your head, food on the table, family, friends, pets, etc.

Today's world makes it hard to find the rainbow after the rain. However, just because you can't find it, doesn't mean it's not there. You just have to look harder. Also, you have to want to see it. Happiness will not just jump up and bite you on the backside. You must be willing to adjust your internal barometer and allow yourself to see the beauty in a 12 year old car. Or the beauty in an apartment without a plasma screen. Everyone is talking about HD tv's and the great picture quality, but we have forgotten that by just opening our windows and watching a sunset, there isn't any HD display that can come close to that.

My advice to you: Back up once in a while. Close your eyes. Let your other senses have fun for once in your life. Listen to the birds sing and the dogs bark. Listen to your heart beat and your lungs fill and deflate. Listen to everything that you forgot about in all that time you were down. BE HAPPY!!

It's Friday. It's almost spring. It's a good time to be alive. I am in Washington, DC trying to enjoy my family, my friends, my pets and life. It is not often that I get to look out of my condo and see such beauty as I have seen today. As I sit back and wonder about the elections that are currently proceeding, and I think about the state of the world today, it seems like a lot of people are using words like "war" and "recession" and imaging how terrible this world has become that they are forgetting how strikingly beautiful this world is. We are yelling at each other on how bad President Bush is and what candidate should be elected that, honestly, any of the remaining 3 candidates would probably do a better job. Bush is only one man, and yes he has a lot of power, but, he is only one man. We must start taking steps to keep our world beautiful for years to come.

I read an article the other day about the creator of the Weather Channel wanted to sue Al Gore for creating a panic over global warming. This just amazed me. I can understand a person not agreeing with Gore, as most right-wing politicians, but for someone to want to sue him is ridiculous. In the past 3 years, we have seen the one of the worst droughts in the southeast, we have seen Katrina ruin thousands of lives, we have had water restrictions for over a year on the east coast, and we have seen a Tsunami kill more people that any other natural disaster. Why can't we at least give Gore some credit and let him give his 2 cents. Every night, right-wing TV host like Bill O'Reilly get there time - let's give Gore his too.

We also have a housing crisis which thousands of middle class Americans are losing their houses due to foreclosure. That adjustable rate mortgage looked great for the first 5 years, but now that you rate has gone from 4% to 19%, it doesn't look so good. Whose fault is this? Is it the uneducated consumer? Is it the loan companies that won't ever have enough? Is it the government for not assisting more? To be honest, I couldn't even begin to tell you. However, one thing I do know is that the people we do elect into office are the ones that speak for us. They are the ones that will voice the majorities opinion. That is why it is important to vote. Important to teach our kids the importance of voting. Important to let our voice be heard. Not once has there been a free tool that gave us so much power.

Next we have the big issue of illegal immigration. This one, to me, almost seems like it takes care of itself. The main argument here is that illegal immigrants are coming into this country, stealing jobs, committing crimes and not paying taxes. All valid points. But what one must come to realize is that if all the jobs being performed by illegal immigrants were given to "Hard-workin" Americans, then most of the basic services and goods that we buy would increase in price. They would have to. The business owners would be forced to double their prices just to stay in the black. Also, I think that has America has become too proud. Yes, TOO PROUD. We act as if this country solely belongs to us. We have got it backwards. We belong to this country. We should be thankful, not proud. There is a big difference. And most people in this country, regardless of race, are the product of immigration. And in a lot of instances, illegal immigration.

I know someone will disagree with what I have written, I know someone will despise me. That is the beauty of America. We can wake up in the morning, get our coffee, look at the beauty outside and dislike anything we want without fear of persecution. We have many freedoms in this country(some would say too many) and we need to use them to their full potential. But also, not enough time is taken on the little things in life. Like the stare of my 14 month old niece, or the sloppy kisses from my dog, or just noticing how the sunlight strikes my window every morning. This is your wake-up call people. Let's enjoy life. Let's enjoy freedom. And most of all, let's enjoy each other.